Madison Jean

Baby girl is here! Actually yesterday marked 5 weeks since she was born! I can't believe it's been that long already - time is flying.  I've been meaning to get this post up about her for the past month, but time kept getting away from me. I also am not very efficient with my time, something that I had heard happens after you have a child, but I hadn't quite comprehended how that worked. I understand and empathize with all moms now! :) Being a mom is the best (it's still weird to think of myself as mom, haha) and I just can't get enough of my beautiful little girl.

Anyhow, I'm so excited to finally have this post done and to share more about our little baby girl! Madison Jean was born January 20th at 10:12pm weighing in at 6 lbs 8 oz and measuring 19 inches long. She was born with a full head of hair and the cutest little face ever. She was so tiny and has the most delicate features. It was love at first sight for Marty and me. I don't know if I can put into words how it felt when I saw and held Madison for the first time. Here she is not long after she was born:

Birth Story
The birth story is a little long but I hope you find it interesting enough to read it all. Writing about this is a little difficult. I had a birth plan in mind, but I also knew to have an open mind about how things could go since this was my first time and I really didn't know what to expect. Even still, things ended up going very differently than I had anticipated.

My plan was to go as long as I could all natural, without any pain medicine, and hopefully make it all the way through delivery. My doula was going to be there to help me through the process. My only concern was that I was getting induced* and I had heard that contractions are way more intense and painful when induced - I worried about being mentally strong enough to make it through without painkillers. I was keeping an open mind though because in the end, having an epidural would be fine. There'd be no reason to make myself suffer if I couldn't handle the pain and it's not like there's a prize for making it through all natural. It was just something I wanted to do if I could.

*Side note about why I was getting induced: baby girl had measured small throughout the pregnancy and my dr and the high-risk dr both were concerned about how efficient the placenta and umbilical cord were at delivering nutrients to her and didn't want to risk going past my due date in case she wasn't getting enough nourishment. I wished I could've been able to go into labor naturally and I feel like things would've gone better if I had, but oh well. Baby girl was born healthy and that's what really matters.

Tuesday morning, on January 20th, we headed to the hospital. It was kind of weird since I had always envisioned that we would be rushing like you see in the movies. I was calm with just a tiny bit of nerves that I was trying to ignore. I remember it was ridiculously foggy that morning and traffic was bad. We made it to the hospital without incident and were all checked in and settled in our room by 9:00am. At 9:30 they started the pitocin. I could feel the contractions, but they weren't painful at all. Marty and I hung out and watched a movie while we were waiting for things to start happening. At 12:30 my dr arrived, checked me (I was 3cm dilated with 70% effacement), and broke my water. Let me tell you, it is the weirdest thing ever! Sorry TMI, but I couldn't believe how much liquid came out and continued to come out with each contraction. I swear I lost about 10 lbs in water weight right there, ha! After they broke my water I started to feel some discomfort when the contractions occurred.

The contractions continued to get more intense and painful. I labored for about 7 hours naturally and then decided that it was just too much for me and I wanted an epidural. The relief I felt after I got it was indescribable. We were hoping that my body relaxing from the epidural would help me move along more. I was stuck at 5cm dilated at that point.

Unfortunately, once I got the epidural, baby girl's heart rate began to decelerate. They stopped the pitocin to see if that would help and it did - her heart rate returned to normal. Sometimes pitocin will get your body to labor on its own once it gets started. That was not the case for me. Once the pitocin was stopped, my contractions stopped. Without the contractions I wouldn't dilate any further and I couldn't have a baby at only 5 cm. They started up the pitocin again, slowly adding more, but baby girl wasn't liking it and her heart rate went down again. They tried this 3 times and every time her heart rate decelerated. It was frustrating. They weren't sure if it was too much stress on baby girl or if she had the umbilical cord wrapped around her somewhere. It made me regret not trying to tough it out longer without the epidural since the issue didn't come up until after.

Since we weren't making any progress (and once they break your water you are on a time limit to have the baby), the only other option was to have a c-section. I was devastated. Here I was, originally wanting to do a natural birth, and I would have to have a c-section. It was the worst possible outcome and one that I didn't think would ever be in the realm of possibilities. :( Once I finally accepted that it had to be done, they prepped me and moved me to the OR.

Some say that you can feel a tugging sensation when you have a c-section, but I didn't feel anything. I just remember being very thirsty and occasionally shaking like I was cold, even though I didn't really feel cold (I found out that was from the medication and normal). The entire procedure was short, taking maybe 30 minutes. I'll never forget when I first heard her cry. I wanted to hold her right away but they made me wait until they cleaned her first. I finally got some skin-to-skin time, but only for a few minutes before they took me away to the recovery area. I wish I had been more demanding of getting that skin-to-skin time to bond right after they pulled her out, but the whole thing was a whirlwind and I was exhausted. After spending about an hour in recovery we finally were taken to our room. It seemed like an eternity before they brought baby girl back to me to hold. By the time I got her I think it was after midnight. It was surreal to hold her in my arms. My beautiful little miracle, my sweet baby Madison. I was completely exhausted, but I forced myself to stay awake so I could hold her just a little longer.

So even though I was disappointed that I had to have a c-section, I was so happy that Madison was born healthy and that I didn't have any complications from the surgery.

Since this post is already very long, I will end it here and have more about Madison in tomorrow's post (it's already typed up and scheduled to go so it will definitely get posted tomorrow). :)

Past Pregnancy Posts:
Week 40
Week 39
The Nursery
Weeks 34 - 38
Weeks 31 - 33
Weeks 29 and 30

Weeks 27 and 28

Weeks 24-26

Weeks 21-23

Gender Reveal

Week 20

Week 19

Week 18

Week 16 & 17

Week 15

Pregnancy Announcement and Weeks 11-14

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